Livy's blog
Class of 2008, English Major, from Fridley, MN

I was asked to talk today at Common Prayer about what part, or parts, of SNC I am most grateful for. I decided to share with you what I said, as it most definitely relates to everything we have been talking about this past semester.

Since I am a Senior, I have obviously spent a lot of time fashioning cover letters and resumes that outline the ways SNC has prepared me professional and academically for the real world. And truthfully, much of this really did become apparent in this past month when I was interviewing for various positions. I realized that I not only have acquired many skills relevant to the real world, but I also possess a certain confidence in my ability to put these skills into practice—a confidence which has come from the many leadership opportunities only a small school can provide.

The more time I spent reflecting on this, however, the more I realized that it was because of SNC’s holistic focus on the development of the individual that I am able to be the grounded person that I am today.

Even more broadly, I realized just how true those catchy statements printed on the Admission Brochures really are. The images of a small, welcoming community that focuses on the development of the individual really is an honest portrayal of my past four years here and will be the one thing I miss the most when I leave.

I don’t know that I can really put into words what this community has been for me, but I think it all boils down to the authenticity of both the faculty and staff. I am very thankful for the countless mentors I have in my time here. Some have been with me for the whole journey, some for only a semester, a summer or an internship. I have found care and companionship through many of the services and programs offered on campus, I had the opportunity, for instance, to get to know my freshman housekeeper through a Faith Sharing Group; have had lunch with professors and shared stories of personal life with them during their office hours; I have cried to members of Career Services on days when I thought a job offer would never come; and have had coffee at Luna with various staff members.

Early this year I was asked to share my faith with the incoming Freshman at Week of Welcome. Without really knowing what to expect, I went into the video-recording interview somewhat nervous about what I was going to say. Faith too, I feel, is another thing that is hard to articulate.

By the end of the interview, however, I better understood myself because I came to realize that my spirituality is more than just a belief in a deity; it is a consciousness about the world and others around me. And this consciousness primarily developed from my involvement with the TRIPS program, which supplemented things I was learning in the classroom.

I remember saying at one point that knowledge about social issues and about God are really meaningless if they don’t challenge people to look inward at themselves, and be honest with the ways that their own lifestyle perpetuates injustice. Although I didn’t necessarily realize it then, I now put this question in the category of a developed and critical conscience—which is exactly what the mission of this college aims to achieve.

Perhaps what I have to thank SNC the most for then, are the tools it has given me to be this self-reflecting person, not only because it has shaped who I currently am, but also because it helps me envision who I want to become in the months and years down the road.

While I obviously don’t know where I will be or what my life will look like in the future, my time at SNC has instilled in me the desire to be a caring and compassion person, someone who is socially aware and intellectually hungry. And this desire comes from having lived in a community where these qualities are acted out daily by the people around me.

So what am I the most thankful for then? Really, it all comes back to this community which has invested so much in helping my personal development.

So, what they’ve been telling us about the internet turns out to be true: Employers DO use it to do their dirty work…or to see what dirty work we have been up to.

Last week I had a phone interview with an organization that offers study-abroad programs to youth across the globe. Because the position I was applying for required study aboard experience, I was prepared to talk about my semester in Ecuador. What I was not prepared for was the response I got:

“We have to confess,” one of the four people on the other line began, “We saw your Flickr account and your pictures do an excellent job showing what you have just described.”

A million thoughts rushed through my head:

They saw my Flickr account? Okay, well at least they liked what they saw, that’s good.

But wait, how would they have known I had a Flickr account?

I only have it linked from my Facebook account.

Facebook.

That means they looked at my profile.

Oh God, what’s my profile picture right now? No, I just changed it, should be okay.

I hope.

But what did Eric just write on my wall? Crap I think he wrote about….no, that’s alright.

I think.

But my pictures? Okay, no, that should be okay, too. Thank God I went through them all last semester.

Thank God I listened to Mandy.

But still….what did they think of the other pictures?

Of me?

While all of these thoughts are racing through my head I hear the woman quoting off the titles to my shots and I am somehow able to meekly resply, “Ah…thanks, I’m glad you got the chance to look at them.”

No I’m not! That’s creepy. Well, no, not really. I ALLOWED it to happen. And it turned out to be oddly flattering and thankfully only worked towards my advantage. (At least as far as I know.) But still….sort of creepy.

I nearly ran home after I hung up the phone. I had to double check my Facebook, make sure there was nothing incriminating on it. And then it hits me, I am friends with someone working for this job, was it him that showed my potential employers my account? Lame!

I e-mail him a “joking” message about it, “Seriously? You showed them my FACEBOOK??!!!??!!”

He writes back, “No, it wasn’t me. But you should really fix your privacy settings so people can’t do that.”

No really!? But I already did this….so how did it happen? My roommate tells me to Google my name, maybe that’s how they got to my pictures.

Sure enough, I Google myself and a page and a half shows up with different links related to me. Livy Traczyk. Career Services: Student Profile. Sigma Tau Delta Member. Student Life Award. Campus Ministry Directory. T.R..I.P.S. Leaders. Flickr Account.

There it is!

Phew. Okay, so maybe that’s how they got there. Maybe.

Or maybe they really did hack into my Facebook, I will never know. ( In class the next day someone says her dad works in Human Resources for a company in Appleton and they have a company code that logs them into Facebook…and they use it all the time.)

All I do know is that I was caught in the net of technology and while it worked with me this time, who’s to say it always will—or that I even want it to? I realize I signed myself up for this, but still, I think we all have to admit, it’s a bit uncomfortable if not altogether creepy.

The moral of the story? Make sure you know what sort of prequel the internet tells about you before you’re able to tell your own story!

“You have LOTS to blog about!” Mandy laughs as she says this. Even though I have well-exceeded my hour-long appointment, my feet are still firmly planted on the floor. I can’t leave yet.

“Like what, how not too be so stressed out senior year?!” I cry back.

Literally, cry back. There are tears in my eyes. And there has been for the past week.

After spending an amazing five days in Kentucky for the Sigma Tau Delta convention (the National English Honor Society), I came back to class Monday morning crying.

I cried at the TRIPS Send-Off last night.

I cried at Luna yesterday, and all I was doing was Facebooking!

What is wrong with me? I am not a crier!

And, I should be happy to be so close to graduation. I am over this whole classroom thing. I am ready for something more.

I am ready to graduate. I am ready to make money (or at least be on the path to making money). I am ready to have that apartment in that city where everything will suddenly come together and make sense. I am ready. I am ready. I am......

Not ready at all. Who am I kidding? Sure, I don’t want to sit through hours of class and then go to the library and spend even more hours doing homework, but I’ve been thinking that way since Freshman year.

What I really want, I tell Mandy, is to not be so stressed. And to say this without sounding obnoxious. I am twenty-two years old. I am in college. I just came back from Kentucky and will be in San Francisco over Spring Break—both trips costing me virtually nothing (thanks to hours spent fundraising and student-travel funds). What right do I have to complain about anything?

But Mandy validates my rant. In fact, she tells me that it is normal.

Normal? Yeah right! This can’t be normal!

I should be enjoying my LAST year at St. Norbert. I should still be wearing sweatpants to class, taking naps at two in the afternoon and going to house parties on the weekends. That is normal. Not this stressing about meetings, internships, and finding a “real” job. And I should definitely not be crying every other second. No way.

But, as I have said in my very first blog, finding a job is a full-time job. Mandy reiterates this, telling me that seniors commonly underestimate the time it takes to apply for jobs, internships, graduate school, volunteer corps, what have you.

And the older you get, she tells me, the longer the process. Yup, the more qualified you become, the harder it is to find a job that matches your level of experience. Apparently, it takes someone searching for entry level jobs (a.k.a. me) an estimated three to six months, and after that, at least six months.

Three to six months? I have two left. Great.

Mandy laughs again. You are fine, she tells me, I give you permission to take a break from job hunting and just be a student for awhile again. (But not too long, just a week or so.)

Take a deep breath. Wipe the eyes. Put my backpack back on.

Okay, just a student. I can do that.

But how do I do that without being too stressed out? Well, the reality is, life is stressful. Sometimes more-so than others. It’s okay. It just means there are things that we care about in life. And while those things are indeed the source of our grief and anxiety, they are also, in the end, the very things worth waiting and working for.

At least that is what I am telling myself. For today anyway.

Okay, great. Now where’s my iPod? It’s time to hit up the Reflection Lounge, maybe take nap....

I can't believe we are entering into our last week of February! Even with Leap Year, the weeks just do not seem long enough!

About a month ago I registered for Career Service's Mock Interview night. When I signed up in January, I was sure that by the time the workshop would come, I'd already have this whole interviewing thing nailed.

This was hardly the case.

Fortunately, I hadn't really interviewed with any organizations when Tuesday arrived. I say fortunately because I definitely learned a lot about what the whole "selling yourself" process. What to do, what NOT to do, how to dress, how to sit, how to stall for time without looking like an idiot...you know, all those things that really aren't as easy as they seem. I realized, for instance, that I like to fidget with my right earlobe and say "um" a lot. Not cool.

There was only six SNC students there on Tuesday, which I have to say, surprised me considering how close this whole real-world gig is coming, and then a panel of four interviewers. Two were Career Services employees, and two were business women in the local area. The night was two hours long, with about forty minutes of solid interviewing time. By the end of the night, I could already notice major improvements in myself.

I would highly recommend registering for this event next year...it's a great way to organize your past experiences in a coherent and articulate way.

Last night Michelle Obama visited our campus. Over 750 people from the college community packed into the Walter Theatre to meet and greet her. Born and raised on the south side of Chicago, Mrs. Obama spoke at length about public schooling and the rising cost of higher education in America. It’s becoming increasingly more impossible, she said, for the youth of today to achieve their dreams of tomorrow—college degrees are just too expensive.
Three more years to go, Michelle said, before her and Barack will be finished paying off their student loans. And that’s only because, she joked, of her husband’s best selling books.
Haha. Very funny.
Walking back to our apartment, my housemate and I let out long sighs. Neither of us plans to enter the corporate world—which is not to say that working for-profit is bad or evil (let’s be serious, it’s what fuels our economy) but, it’s just not for us. I’m looking into either a career as a journalist (Okay, you’re right this is technically part of the corporate world, but it’s low-paying enough that it can fall, in my opinion, into the non-corporate category) or as a human rights worker. My housemate hopes to go into the non-profit world as a family service psychologist. None of these options equal big money and we are very aware of this. But that is the reality of the non-profit world, the non-conventional path, the non-practical route, as some might say.
And although it is exactly because of their choice to work in the non-profit world after graduating from Princeton and Harvard Law that makes us really admire the Obama duel, hearing Michelle Obama talk about it made us sort of cringe.
This sucks, we concluded, We are going to be in debt FOREVER.
Currently, my housemmate is waiting to hear back from four of the graduate schools she already applied to. She has four more applications to fill out, and she hopes that at least one of these eight will offer her enough financial aid so that she can say “Yes”. And me? Well, I am waiting for my creative writing to be discovered by some big name publishing firm. Haha. Yeah right, we say to one another, Keep dreaming.
And at this point, both of our career goals do seem like some lofty dreams, just lingering out there in the distance. But what is the reality?
Is it that the cost of education is ridiculously high and therefore unattainable to many?
Sure, I’d agree with that. (And I have my bank statements to back my decision!)
Is it that only the lucky few, the fortunate ones, have the love and support to turn their limited (or not so limited) opportunities into successes?
Maybe.
But I’d like to think that that distance, that horizon which holds our dreams, is in fact, just a stretch. Sure, it’s going to take work (and for most of us, loans) to get there. But we can get there. And I’m not talking politics right now. Or at least not in the way of plugging a particular candidate. What I’m talking about is finding that niche in our lives, that career, that vocation, that path that lines up with where we come from and where we want to go. That is, after all, why so many of us choose St. Norbert College. The personalized attention from faculty and staff is what has helped tons of students find this niche in the past.
If you aren’t an Obama supporter, okay, I doubt that everyone in that auditorium was. If you aren’t a Democrat, that’s fine too. I’m not here to blog about political ideologies. But, if you aren’t “into” politics—work on it. It affects you and your future career more than any of us like to admit.
Because the reality is, as my housemate and I concluded last night, politics with the capital P does play a role into what we choose to do with our careers and what we decide are do-able vocations. So while we don’t know all the answers right now (really who does in college?), we can take a few more steps in figuring it out. Voting for the Wisconsin Primaries is one step http://www.co.brown.wi.us/County_Clerk/Polls.htm. Attending informational forums here on campus about political issues is another step http://www.snc.edu/peaceandjustice/events.html. And visiting Web sites such as: http://www.ontheissues.org/Candidates.htm, or http://www.youtube.com/youchoose are also helpful.
However you do it, and whomever you choose, just remember that not voting is detrimental in your journey of discovering your career niche and reaching your dreams.